How To Stop Stressing About Money with Mikelann Valterra: Episode 240
How To Stop Stressing About Money with Mikelann Valterra
In this episode of the Health and Wellness Practitioners podcast, host Dr. Danielle Angela speaks with money coach Mikelann Valterra about how to stop stressing about money. Mikelann discusses her decision to become a money coach and how helping people develop a healthy relationship with money can improve all other areas of their lives.
Money can often be a block for people, causing stress and frustration, but Mikelann emphasizes that it should be seen as a tool or resource to live the life we want. You will gain insight into how to manage your finances and find a healthy balance.
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Meet our Guest: Mikelann Valterra
Money Coach, Author, Keynote Speaker
Mikelann of Seattle Money Coach is an author, keynote speaker and money coach who helps women transform their relationship with money to create a
life they love.
For over 20 years, she has been a thought leader in the field of Financial Psychology. Her strong background in emotional intelligence, paired with her practical money strategies enable her clients to consciously design their life, while escaping financial stress and anxiety.
When she’s not working with clients, you can find Mikelann on the dance floor, indulging her love of Argentine Tango.
FEATURED LINKS
PODCAST TRANSCRIPT
Dr Danielle:
Welcome to the Health and Wellness Practitioners podcast. I am your host, Dr. Danielle Angela. In this show, I and my guest experts will talk about everything from getting your practice started to developing your clinical skills, growing your practice your way, and of course, dealing with the real stuff like burnout and work-life balance. Whether you've been practicing for decades or just started your journey, you'll find something here for you. So take a deep breath and enjoy the show.
Rapid Fire Questions
Dr Danielle:
Hello everyone. Welcome to a brand new episode of the Health and Wellness Practitioners podcast. I'm here today with Mikelann who is going to be talking about how to stop stressing out about money. Before we dive into that topic, we're gonna do some rapid fire questions. So Mikelann, and question number one is when there are so many other career paths available, why did you choose the one that you chose?
Mikelann:
That is a great question. Why would someone choose to be a money coach? Um, and honestly, the short answer is I, you know, I literally debated becoming a psychotherapist. I also looked at becoming a financial planner. And the truth is, I feel like if people don't get a handle on how to feel really good about money, it blocks their ability to grow in other areas. And I'm just, I'm so deeply devoted to personal growth that for us to really kind of climb Maslow's hierarchy, as I know a lot of your listeners know, um, having a healthy relationship to money just helps you develop an amazing life. You don't want money to be what stops you. So that's why I went into this field.
Dr Danielle:
So looking at money as a tool or a resource to be able to live the life that we want to live.
Mikelann:
Yeah. I mean, so often it is a block, right? People are so stressed or frustrated that it keeps them from doing what they truly want.
Dr Danielle:
Yeah, that's a great point. Okay. Tell me what fills you up.
Mikelann:
Um, two answers to that awesome question. Um, one would be my daily meditation practice. So that's probably the, the core engine of my life. Um, and the second is Argentine tango. I am a tango dancer, so if I am not working with clients during the day, I'm in the dance studio or on the dance floor at night and I dance a lot.
Dr Danielle:
Sounds really fun.
Mikelann:
It is, yeah. <laugh>. Yeah.
Dr Danielle:
What do you like least about running a business?
Mikelann:
What do I like least about running a business? Um, managing all of the social media channels, which is why I have a awesome assistant to help me handle it. Um, and I think that the other thing is the legal stuff around being a business owner wasn't something I was ever schooled in. So it is a lot to kind of wrap your mind around. And again, I, um, have a lovely small business attorney, but it's definitely not my favorite part of business.
Dr Danielle:
Yeah, I hear you. Is there a book that you think that every person should read?
Mikelann:
Well, my current favorite, and I bet you've even talked about this, but my current favorite is called The Upgrade. How the Female Brain gets Stronger and Better in Midlife and Beyond for people that are looking at the livestream. And, you know, I'm not, um, a medical professional, but I've got so many clients, Danielle, that are women in midlife and looking at perimenopause and menopause and the impact. And it's a big deal. And I love, I just love talking about it and coming out of silence around it for that demographic, cuz that's very much, um, you know, me and a lot of my cohort. So it's just lovely to say, you know what midlife is about upgrading and getting better.
Dr Danielle:
Mm-hmm. Now that I'm 42, I agree <laugh>.
Mikelann:
Amen. Right.
Dr Danielle:
Okay. Last rapid fire question is, on a scale of zero to 10, how crunchy are you?
Mikelann:
How crunchy am I? Um, luckily I'm, I'm probably at a one or a two, thanks to a lot of dancing and a lot of meditation. Without those two, I think I'd be, I'd be a lot crunchier
Dr Danielle:
Awesome. Okay, so that wraps up the rapid fire questions so we can talk more about how to stop stressing about money. And as you were mentioning at the start of, um, our time together, um, money is either a resource, a tool, or something that can block you from living the life that you want to live. So I guess my first question for you is, why, why is, why is it that so many people struggle and are so stressed about money besides the obvious of feeling like they don't have enough of it?
Money is Emotional
Mikelann:
Well, I think, um, I mean it's a big question. I think the, the, one of the answers is money is really emotional. And yet I think we sometimes think it shouldn't be emotional, that it's just a tool. And honestly just saying it's emotional and being able to dive into how we feel about it, I think really helps because, you know, the truth is how could something that literally affects survival not be emotional and bring up a lot of feelings? And, you know, I think that that, the other piece, and this gets a little bit psychological, is not everybody was raised in a family where money was okay to talk about or was a positive or at least a neutral thing. And so, you know, for all your listeners that grew up, hearing people, you know, fight about money, for example, it's hard to not carry that into adulthood and not feel, it's almost like this, we're programmed, if you will, to be stressed when the topic comes up, even if we have enough.
Mikelann:
Right. And, and of course that that's a relative question, what do we mean by enough? But part of it is we really need to look at what is our money story, what are the beliefs that we bring to money? And we do wanna feel really good about how we handle money. But, you know, I personally find having talked to hundreds and hundreds of people, so many people were never taught how to handle money. And I'm not talking about investing. I'm talking about, you know, day-to-day, month to month, what's it like to do a really nourishing spending plan so that you know you're okay and you're not stressed about money. And it's really rare, Danielle, that I talked to people that saw that modeled growing up very rare.
Dr Danielle:
Yeah, I would assume so. I didn't have that modeled for me in any way, um, growing up. So that's certainly something that I've struggled with. And you mentioned, you know, that a lot of, a lot of times they feel like we don't have enough and what is enough, and I've noticed as my business has grown over the last seven years, is that no matter how much money I'm making, I almost always feel like it's never enough. That's really vulnerable for me to share on the podcast because some of you know how much money I make and you're like, what how is that?
Mikelann:
But good for you for sharing it and talking about it. And because you're basically breaking silence about a really big topic and saying, we get to talk about how we feel about it. You know, and sometimes it's, I mean, you've got like this growing family with needs that are changing all the time. So you've got lifestyle creep and different needs that that come up and how do you manage, you know, I mean, it's interesting, the years with kids are very different than other years. And so the classroom is changing on you and how do you, how do you stay on top of that? And that's true for people that don't own businesses, but when you are in private practice, all of this is also true in terms of looking at what you need in your business as well. It's, it's like your business is another child. Right? And so here you are having to take care of this other child with all its changing needs as well, particularly as your practice grows.
Dr Danielle:
Yeah. So you have a seven step process to help people stop stressing about money and reduce their, their anxiety around their finances. Do you wanna walk through that seven, those seven steps?
How to Reduce Stress by Getting Out of the "Money Fog"
Mikelann:
Um, well let's hit, let's hit a couple of the, the steps that I have it in the ebook for people to download. And it's like 20 pages. So like, oh my gosh. But I do that like, we'll keep everyone on the live stream for a couple hours. Um, I think that that part of de-stressing about money is, you know, first and foremost starting to look at how do you get out of the money fog. I think that would be step one. You know, step one, how do we get outta the money fog? And which begs the question, what's the money fog? You know, what is the money fog? And I would define it as, we don't know, and then you can fill in the blank, we don't know how much we spend, we don't know how much we need to earn. We don't know our debt or our net worth.
And I think that that part of the problem with being in a money fog is that people, it's like it creates a free floating anxiety, right? And, you know, if you're in a car driving around in a fog, it's not a matter of are you going to hit something? It's when are you going to hit something? Right? So part of it is, you know, how do we get out of the fog? Right? I think that's, that's a, a really big step. I think that another step is really looking at our history around money and starting to look at what are your beliefs? You know, how were you raised about money? And it's, it's a huge question for people, but what I find is when people start looking at, you know, how am I like my mom or my dad, oh actually I'm the opposite, you know, whatever, whatever that is, we're always trying to find the connection.
How are your childhood stories similar to what's happening for you as an adult, right? What are the beliefs that you had as a child around money? How are those coming back up? And you know, if we go to the, um, example that I had a little bit ago, if, if you grow up here and your parents fight about money, chances are you've got this belief that says, okay, money's bad money causes conflict money makes mom cry. You know? So as an adult, the moment money comes up, we feel icky, we feel stressed, we feel we just wanna shut down and not talk about it. Right? So one of the steps is really looking at how do we look at what are our beliefs around money so that we can begin to shift them. And then I think that another one of those steps is also about forgiving ourselves because I find that a lot of adults, Danielle, if they go, you know, okay, that's fine.
All this childhood stuff, that's fine. That's a big thing to wade into. But I find that right now in the present, adults carry a lot of blame for all the mistakes they think they've made around money. And, and again, if you ignore everything else, and I think that that really one of the biggest, biggest things that your listeners can really think about is how do we forgive ourselves? You know? Cuz I think that we all have a money story. We all have a rip roaring, fascinating tale of life around money that's probably full of twists and turns and ups and downs. I've, I've yet to meet anyone that has a boring money story, right? Because it's just, they're all, all sorts of things. And so how do we allow ourselves to forgive ourselves for what we think of as money mistakes? Cuz it's really all about learning about money because we, we know, and I know everyone listening in, in all of healthcare industries, I know everybody knows this. If you, if you carry around blame and shame, it is really bad for your health. It's bad for your mental health and it's bad for your physical health. And this is just as true in the realm of money. When we allow ourselves grace to be okay with what's happened and go, okay, now we have a new way to, you know, kind of move forward, we get lighter and we can more easily look at what's in front of us around money instead of carrying this big huge burden about of the past around with us.
Dr Danielle:
Yeah. I can relate to that for sure.
Is there a specific practice that you recommend people, um, use to help them feel better about money? And can you tell us about that?
The Emotional and Practical Path to Reducing Money Stress
Mikelann:
Yeah, so there, there, there's a, there's kinda like two paths. There's the emotional path and then there's the practical path. And I, I think you have to have both on the emotional path. Just as one example, I have all of my clients work with what's called a money autobiography. And it looks at, you know, through their life, what are the stories that have happened to them around money? And then what are the beliefs that came about as a result of that? You know, again, if the story senior parents fight, you may have a, a unexamined belief that money causes pain and conflict, but there's 50 million other stories that people have that we witnessed as children. Um, on the practical side of money, one of the biggest things to help our stress and anxiety is really entering into this notion of planning our spending. And I personally, um, hate the word budget. I think it's like, it sounds like a big diet.
Dr Danielle:
Yeah.
Mikelann:
It's very deprivation sounding to people like, oh, who do I owe? What's left over? Um, but shifting it instead to saying, okay, how do I create a nourishing spending plan that is about where I want my money to go so that I can create the life that I most want? Because I, I personally believe that that art of planning your spending is really the art of crafting the life that you want. And if you're a small business owner, that same art and craft of planning your spending is just as true on the business side. You know, like for example, I created a march spending plan for my business so that I could see what was coming in and out and not be stressed and kind of look at the month in front of me. Um, and that has to match what I need income-wise for my March personal plan. And so, you know, that that type of tool, Danielle, is, it is life-changing for people. I mean, it is like the top antidote to dealing with financial stress.
Dr Danielle:
Mm-hmm. So it's really like not letting yourself, not pay attention to the numbers, but being proactive about looking at what you're, what you're sending, and then being able to plan for things that you want as well. And I know for a lot of people that listen to this podcast, a lot of people in our audience, um, most of us are running our own businesses, so, you know, money is a stressor. It can be a good stressor or a bad stressor depending on how you're looking at it, but oftentimes they're avoiding looking at the finances of, well, they're home and their business because it feels just too scary, right. To even bring themselves to look at it and they're afraid of what they'll, what they'll see. I would add though, oftentimes when I'm working with someone in a coaching capacity, and you know, the this topic kind of comes up when they're willing to go look at the objective information, it's oftentimes far less, well, it's just not as bad as what they thought that it was going to be.
Mikelann:
Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's like when we look under the bed, when we peek under the bed, the monsters tend to actually shrink and be Oh, that's what I was afraid of. I mean, I, I, I think you're right because the, the notion of creating, um, a spending plan in your business is also about creating an income plan. You know, I don't think we can separate 'em. It's an income and spending plan. And I think that it also brings us into getting really creative because, you know, all your listeners are, are so smart with all their different, um, practices and businesses. And so how do we bring that, that intelligence and that creativity to money and having a, a way, a system, if you will, of looking at the puzzle pieces is, um, again, I mean it's life changing. I mean, I have so many small business owners that think that they can't plan their spending because the income is erratic and changes.
Mikelann:
I say it's actually more important to plan because as things happen, we adjust as the income changes, as the expenses change. You know, it, it's, I think it's one more reason why I don't like the word budget, because people tend to think of it as a static event and then everything changes. So then throw the baby out with the bath water, you know, so as opposed to, you know, a spending plan is a living, breathing process. And so new information is coming in and, you know, we are adjusting all the time as things happen in our business, but we wanna feel in control and creative. And if we've got a way of looking at money, then if we are "hit" with some big expense, because this is always what happens, we always fear that, um, we immediately know what does that mean? Can we shift here? Can we spend a little bit less there? And ultimately it's about feeling in control.
Dr Danielle:
Yeah. So for the person that's listening to the podcast today, who feels very stressed about money, whether it's because they have enough or not enough or something different, what's the first thing that you would want them to do?
Mikelann:
The very first thing would be looking at where is their money currently going. Um, what I find is that a lot of people have a lot of money leaks and they feel rather scattered about money. And so the notion of beginning to track your out-go really is one of the absolute best places to start. But, you know, you and I know that can be kind of a heavy lift, so, uh, sometimes an easier way to get into it is to begin to think, can you simplify what you're looking at? I I actually find that a lot of people have too many accounts, too many credit cards, too many savings accounts, too many checking accounts. So it's like, no wonder we're stressed if we can reign in and give ourselves fewer places to look. I call it elegant simplicity. It really helps calm us down so that it doesn't feel so overwhelming.
Dr Danielle:
Awesome. If someone wants to learn more about you and what you do, where is the best place for them to go?
Mikelann:
Oh, thank you for asking that. So the website is seattlemoneycoach.com, seattlemoneycoach.com. Um, I've got clients all over the United States, actually all over the world. Um, but who I love working with are, you know, women that are just, they feel like they're really rocking it in so many areas of their life, but money is driving them crazy. So I would just encourage your listeners, if any of this resonates to go ahead and, and, um, grab a free discovery call with me, and then we will figure out, you know, what's the number one thing that's keeping you from feeling in control of your money? And they can get all sorts of the freebies on the website as well, like the ebook that you mentioned, how to stop stressing about money.
Dr Danielle:
Awesome. Well, great. Thank you so much for everything that you shared today. One of our, uh, viewers, Amelia, she said this was perfect and perfect timing. Thank you. So,
Mikelann:
Oh, I'm so glad. Hooray. It's all about timing, isn't it? Yeah,
Dr Danielle:
It's, yeah. Thank you so much.
Dr Danielle:
Hey, thanks so much for joining me for today's episode. If you love this podcast, then be sure to join our free community, the Health and Wellness Practitioners Group over on Facebook where you can continue the discussion and get to know other people in the community as well. We're a group of chiropractors, natural paths, acupuncturists, midwives, doulas, massage therapists, mental health therapists, counselors, nutritionists, and a list goes on. So come join us, get to know other people, build some personal and professional relationships. You can find the group by heading to DrDanielleangela.com/community and request to join the group. I will see you inside from there.